SLAGGING : The delicate art of teasing someone in such a fashion that they look forward to it. Practiced widely throughout Ireland by all manner of people. Slaggologists consider the first genuine slagging match to have taken place in 4000 s.y. (slag year) between two Neolithic farmers, of course 4000 s.y. had to be recalibrated to take into account the degree of slagging going on, which in this case amounted to 3700 s.y. (adjusted). Apparently the slag went something like this . "I saw yer big carrots today", said one farmer to another. "They're selling like hotcakes". "Are ya sure they're not turnips dipped in red dye?" This classic slag probably gave way to the first land skirmish and subsequent war. It should be stated that slagging can only be accomplished with aplomb by native Irish people, it cannot be mastered by learning(sorry about that). See related word LAGGING below.

LAGGING : The art of laying down mineral wool insulation in attics and around water tanks, or conversely just the art of laying down period on the job. Its relation to slagging comes in when most of the' work' crew are composed of Irish people. In which case, there's an awful lot more slagging done, than lagging!.

BLAZER : A school garment which housed various animate and inanimate objects such as chewing gum, neatly folded page 3 of the Sun paper, sling shot, steelies and coloured marbles, last week's breakfast readily identifible as scrambled eggs on toast, (we wore our breakfasts with pride), next week's exam answers to the Geography paper, a dead mouse (accidently swallowed a steelie or was clobbered by one) , a scrawled home address of a school girl from the all girl's school up the road, a ferret and a few pennies pocket money to spend on sweets.

OLD CODGER : Term referred to members of the Irish male fraternity who are generally past their prime. These people should not be allowed out on the street except if they're on a leash. They can usually be spotted wandering around outside pubs way before opening times, standing starring at Molly Malone's bronze breasts at the bottom of Grafton Street, Dublin. They have also been spotted at bus stops trying to chat up young ones, or at railway stations and propping up concrete walls,or covering up political posters with their leashes dangling around their ankles. See CONCRETE below

CONCRETE : What you call your porridge or oatmeal cereal when somebody didn't put enough milk or water in it (Nuala where'd ya put the fecking milk?). It is generally considered that elephants can readily trot across the top of it. see Elephants below.

ELEPHANTS : Definitely not hamsters. These are big gray, wobbly animals with long snouts that will squash you flat as a pancake if they use you for a seat. They are generally found trying to hide behind skinny, leafless trees and make trumpet like jazz sounds in the bushes of Africa and the forests of India.(Miles Davis eat yer heart out) They are reknowned for their memory and love munching on Rolo chocolates which they never forget about. See FORGETTING below

FORGETTING : Er.....Umm eh ..let me see now....eh I know.... ..it will come to me....give me a sec...rhymes with December...eh ...eh yes! See REMEMBERING below.

REMEMBERING : Something OLD CODGERS never do. See OLD CODGERS above. Ever get the feeling your going around in circles?

JACKS : A derogatory name given to people who come from Dublin, go into Dublin or try to escape from the city. Was first introduced during a slagging match (see slagging above). Can also be interchanged with toilet or water closet since Jacks rolls were fired onto the Croke Park football field by protestors during a GAA game in the All Ireland Final.