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If your dog, 'scratch' finally comes up with the winning Lotto ticket after you've taped hundreds of the things behind his ears ('cause your too tired scratching them yourself) or if your uncle Ignatius, in a fit of madness, showers you with the green stuff (not talkin' grass cuttings here folks) after getting an unexpected tax rebate from the Irish Revenue Commissioners or if you just plain get lucky on the TV show 'Who wants to be a millionaire?" then book tickets for all the family to this lesser known oasis in the South Pacific. Home to the All Blacks rugby team, the world's most famous and experienced mountaineers, Rob Hall and Edmund Hillary, the singer Teri Te Kanawa, the native and fearless Maori. Home to Bungy jumping sheep, extreme sports, wildwater kayaking, volcanoe rim trekking, glacier cave excursions, dolphin inhabited fjords, ancient rain forests, pesky Kea parrots, scrubland deserts, hangi and 'barbie' cooking and plenty of lambchops and cashmere jumpers to feed and clothe the whole world.
Superlatives seem to escape me, what can I say, only that in 1998, an Irishman set foot (make that two feet) in the land of the long white cloud on a trip of a lifetime. Most tourists, after finding out where New Zealand is on a world map, seem to bypass this gem of a country by opting for Australia or Hawaii or Indonesia. In a sense that's a blessing in disguise, a blessing for the natives and ecosystem conservation. You see, in a 2 island landscape roughly the combined size of Japan, New Zealand has everything within easy reach. The topography is diverse and strikingly contrasting. On the North Island you can encounter a 90 mile long beach front! north of Auckland, active volcanoes in the island's centre, Kaiori rain forests, and a crater lake 25 x 40 miles wide of crystal clear freshwaters and arguably the best trout fishing in the world.
Separating the North island from the South island is Cook's Strait named after the explorer James Cook. On the South Island you will encounter an enormous Mountain range rising to an average of 12 to 14,000 ft that sharply cuts the land in half from an east - west axis. You'll run into hoards of sheep,deer and ostrich farms, grassland deserts, goldmining ghost towns, massive glaciers you can guidewalk into and the 'Grand Canyon of the Southern Hemisphere', a windswept 35 mile canyon valley with a 17 mile long lake nestled in it. Finally you cannot miss the world heritage area of the South Island, Milford Sound, where there are vast unexplored stretches of forest that nobody, not even guides, have discovered. Well if that doesn't whet your appetite, then you can always turn on the telly again and clip yer toenails!!!
